Today my master hasn't taken me for a walk. I'm becoming a sedentary cattle like piece of meat who just lies around all day waiting to die.
My master is the lazy one. I want to do something all the time!!
Wait a second....is my master standing up? Is he walking over to me?? Is that the leash!!?? Yes it is!! Weeeeeee......poop, pee, pant, bite, sniff.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
First post
First thing's first. I want to establish an understanding to anybody reading this blog. I just want everyone to know how much of a stinky puppy I am. My existence is an absolute bane on my masters, Lee and Chelsey.
I started out life as a squirming, grunting, blind, cute little poop machine. Now I'm a running, panting, counter food stealing, cat humping, stinky, gangly, adolscent little a-hole.
Yes...to anybody who sees me, you might think I'm cute at first glance...but give me a day or two. You will literally want to kill me, and you might try. My cute looks can be deceiving.
My only friend is a cat name Tiberius who I can' stop biting, humping, and molesting. The poor thing has given up on even trying to defend itself. It hissed, swatted, arched it's back at me, but that did not stop the onslaught of awkward, male on male, cross species, neutered, confused hump storms that I rain down upon him on an almost daily basis. I am ashamed of myself but don't know why and I cannot define it because I'm a stinky mutt of a dog. I am Ryker.
I started out life as a squirming, grunting, blind, cute little poop machine. Now I'm a running, panting, counter food stealing, cat humping, stinky, gangly, adolscent little a-hole.
Yes...to anybody who sees me, you might think I'm cute at first glance...but give me a day or two. You will literally want to kill me, and you might try. My cute looks can be deceiving.
My only friend is a cat name Tiberius who I can' stop biting, humping, and molesting. The poor thing has given up on even trying to defend itself. It hissed, swatted, arched it's back at me, but that did not stop the onslaught of awkward, male on male, cross species, neutered, confused hump storms that I rain down upon him on an almost daily basis. I am ashamed of myself but don't know why and I cannot define it because I'm a stinky mutt of a dog. I am Ryker.
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